My own worst enemy, when it comes to simply ‘getting on with it’. This web-log thing that you are reading right now (apologies for that), is supposed to be my avenue to get stuff out there, but I am forever stopping myself from actually doing that. The idea was to just pour words onto the screen, review, edit, refine, and press ‘Publish’.
You should see the amount of draft posts that I have amassed (but I wouldn’t put you through that agony…). A growing list of unfinished, barely started, nonsensical word-globules, most with no future.
I blame my brain, or whatever is in there that stops me from finishing things. The thing in my head that is so good at holding me back. That voice from somewhere near the base of the cerebellum that convinces me that what I’ve just started will probably go nowhere, that it is stupid/dumb/wrong, that no-one in their right mind would be interested in it. And the primal fear that my output will be used against me, somehow, some time in the future.
On top of that is this idea that anything I have to say has already been said, by other people, better than me, said better, with better words. And also that the word patterns I am creating are somehow simple or obvious. The reader is likely to switch off after the first sentence, exasperated at the OBVIOUSNESS.
Almost everything I think is – So. Damn. Obvious. Almost everything that needs to be said is just – So. Damn. Obvious. Why would I, or should I, bother with it at all?
And now, I think that is quite enough self-therapy. Get On With It.
Thanks for listening.