Geneticists have declared Australia is the ‘Holy Grail’ for selective genetic technology that might actually prove useful, in a report issued by the illustrious, but otherwise useless, medical journal Genetics ‘r Us.
Struggling for many years to find an application for genetic technology that serves more purpose than growing a human ear on the back of a mouse, or pumping out clones of a stupid sheep, the international geneticist fraternity/sorority has decided to apply their splicing skills to locating and removing the gene that makes many people stupid.
In pursuit of this lofty aim, geneticists have decided to focus their research on the white Australian male subspecies, where there is an apparently internationally-embarrassing oversupply of the stupidity gene.
“We found that in Australia, you only need to grab the nearest guy and there’s a 90% chance that you’ve bagged yourself a stupid redneck idiot.”, Professor Brains O’Gravy said, in the Genetics ‘r Us report.
Based on this abundance of stupid, the projected low costs for the research program are very attractive for overseas scientist-types seeking to eliminate stupid from the human genome.
O’Gravy went on to explain that recent political and social examples of stupid in Australia were compelling encouragement to pursue the urgent elimination of stupid from humanity “within three generations, or we’re all fucked. We could actually do something important and worthwhile here. Maybe even save humanity from itself.”
Yours, saturated with genetic material,