Was moving in a certain direction, then tangents, distractions, and diversions…
Almost every school report card ever written about me used the phrase ‘easily distracted’, in a rather negative way.
A sparkle of bright light in the periphery of the ol’ vision tunnel, and like a moth to a flame…
For some years I’ve been aware that most everything I see or read is quite simply factually wrong in some or most aspects (‘everything you know is wrong’ and ‘never claim to know, unless you REALLY KNOW’ have been life mottos for me [not particularly helpful ones, probably]), and now, very recently, I have heard those little pearls of anti-knowledge echoed back to me and discovered a deep trove of new research material in the fringes of the paddle pool I splash about in.
Having heard the echo, I think it only right to heed the acoustic reverberations offered up to me by the Universe. This may result in changes, or reinforcement, or redoubling, or something.
What does this mean? I need to reassess many things. And I may need to watch The Wizard of Oz again.
Me (and words fail)
I’ve tried to write, and attempted engagement with others who write (might-be-comrades, but not), and I have sadly become aware that I used to be better at almost everything with words than I am now, or have been of late. I am now weak of words. I used to be strong with words. Now I am like an old and worn scatter-gun, optical sights corrupted by broken lenses and condensation, loose of trigger, confidence in the mechanism sadly lacking, everything is loose and rusty and sans lubricant, pathetically incapable of even pointing to the target.
It was 1987 when I last wrote a genuinely good thing, unaffected at that stage by the self-doubt and aimlessness that has crippled my words ever since. That would kick in later that same year. I think that was when I was first ground into submission by the herd…
Or maybe it’s just the drugs.
And so the herd drowned me, to absorb me.
Or maybe it was always the drugs.
No. The herd absorbs its members, or they are ejected and are not then members.
I have been a non-member, and then a member, and then a non-member, and then a member, of this herd. I am an oscillating electron. I think I am coursing toward non-membership again. That is the cycle, after all.
And I may need to watch The Wizard of Oz again.
Note: The above post was three different meaningless and short draft posts that have been kicking around for various lengths of time units. Tonight they seemed to want to be meshed together and massaged into something possibly just as meaningless, when I really should have just been sleeping.