Wave Turbine Syndrome Scares Everyone

Opposition to new wave power technology planned for deployment on Australia’s south coast has raised its furrowed brow, after the announcement that the “scary machine” had been constructed and would be installed in coming months. A grassroots group known as ‘SeaFloor Guardians’ was hastily registered for tax evasion purposes on Monday, funded by generous donations from a consortium of coal companies.  Group spokesperson, Dr. Lara Worry, said that there needed to be at least 50 years of research into the health impacts of wave energy before they could support the project.  “We just don’t know what these machines will do.  My … Continue reading Wave Turbine Syndrome Scares Everyone

Redneck Holy Grail

Geneticists have declared Australia is the ‘Holy Grail’ for selective genetic technology that might actually prove useful, in a report issued by the illustrious, but otherwise useless, medical journal Genetics ‘r Us. Struggling for many years to find an application for genetic technology that serves more purpose than growing a human ear on the back of a mouse, or pumping out clones of a stupid sheep, the international geneticist fraternity/sorority has decided to apply their splicing skills to locating and removing the gene that makes many people stupid. In pursuit of this lofty aim, geneticists have decided to focus their research … Continue reading Redneck Holy Grail

Trust Us

In a joint statement from members of the Global Alliance for Virtuous Banking (GAVBank), account holders everywhere are being assured that “banks are good”.  The statement was issued in response to recent revelations that HSBC had allegedly acted as the conduit for a paltry €180Bn of tax dodges, drug money, blood diamonds and bankrolling of terrorists. The statement informs banking customers that: There is no need for concern.  Your money is totally safe with us, and is in no way used to fund or support illegal or unsavoury activities anywhere.  That’s what Bitcoin is for.  You should really stay away from … Continue reading Trust Us

Changing Direction

Taking cues from my readers and other blogs I follow and interactions on other social media things, it’s time to dedicate some effort to ‘crystallizing’ the aim, intent, and … the SOUL, I guess … of this here Shit Web-Log. It’s time to go the full retard FULL SATIRE.  I’ll probably have to look that up on urban wiktionary or something so I know what I’m supposed to be doing… Why didn’t I do this to begin with? Maybe because I was trying to be all serious, and all things to all people, and maybe I thought I couldn’t pull … Continue reading Changing Direction